Decisions, Decisions

this is probably one of my favorite photographs. i don’t believe i’m conceited (as you can see, this picture is nothing special). i like that this picture was 100% candid. it’s not a “i’ll-just-pretend-to-be-candid-but -actually-pose” photograph, but, in fact, this was taken at the restaurant during the most important part of the meal: deciding. I can almost see the thought process taking place. So many delectable items, where to begin?

It didn’t take me many tough decisions to realize that I strongly dislike making them when they apply to my own life. To tell you the truth, I take pride in making decisions for other people, especially in stressful situations. But when it applies to me, I can never make the choice. My whole life I had my parents make every single one of my choices for me, and the biggest decision I had to make was which jeans I should wear in the morning, or if I should get cheese fries or pizza for lunch. Now..? Talk of the future used to get me so excited, but at this point I wish it was already chosen for me, and I didn’t have these random urges to pursue a different career or future pathway. Help.

..

I am eagerly awaiting home, the weekend, and sleep.

The most reward lies in the last bite..

an eager taste-tester prowls amongst the kitchen..

Yesterday, my sister and I made chocolate eclairs. [thanks Emeril!]
So this morning, before my younger sister, Asma, was going to her friend’s house, I suggested she take some for her friend and her family. She said, “But, if she doesn’t like it, then she’s going to waste it.” and I said, why would she waste it? And you know what her response was? “Because she’s AMERICAN!”

Even an 8 year-old knows how bad the condition of food wastage is in the US. Growing up, my siblings and I were taught never to waste anything. I can still vividly recall my father, sitting at the head of the dinner table, picking up a single grain of rice, telling us how many people would kill for a dinner such as this one. We were never allowed to throw away food, so we learned to only take the amount of food we could actually consume. So, when I eat with others, I notice how much people take food for granted. I remember at Krispy Kreme once, they were handing out donuts to the people standing in line, and if a customer refused the donut, they would just throw it away! It’s amazing how much we waste these days. The last time I ate in a cafeteria was last year in the dorm, and it would kill me to see how much people threw away. Untouched burgers, salads, cookies, even WHOLE FRUIT! Give me a break people. The least we can do is be appreciative of all of the bounties that we DO have.

Arrogance Resolution

“ A believer is the mirror of his brother. When he sees a fault in him, he should correct him ”- narrated by Imam Bukhari

It took me some time to allow myself to absorb and really understand the meaning of this hadith. Of course, it basically means that, if you witness your fellow Muslim brother or sister doing something they should not be doing, it is your duty to point out his/her fault. It is pretty self-explanatory, so why did it take me so long to grasp? Because I, like most other human beings, dislike being wrong. If I’m wrong, I don’t want to be told that I’m wrong. In fact, I usually know if I’m doing something wrong, so why should anyone else tell me? Who are they to say anything? In the end, it’s my problem, so why does anyone have to get into my business. Right?

Apparently not. This is clear proof, if you have a problem, someone needs to tell you to fix it. Though it may be your problem, if someone loves you, then it’s his/her problem as well. And you should love every one of your Muslim brothers and sisters. So, from now on, I ask of my friends to point out the visible blemishes in my Iman, because this is the only way that I’ll correct myself.

Something else comes to mind as I write this post. Imam Khalid al Talib mentioned:

“ The moment you think you are pious, you’re not ”

Such a short, yet powerful statement. It’s true, even the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), would stand for hours during the last third of the night supplicating to our Lord; he begged for mercy because he knew that he could not worship our Lord the way He deserves to be worshipped. Imagine, even the Prophet Muhammad, the most perfect man ever to exist, knew that he was not capable of doing justice to our Lord. So, who are we? Who are we to think we are so religious, doing the bare minimum: praying five times a day and fasting during the month of Ramadan? The key to this statement is that it continuously pushes you further. If you know you’re not the best Muslim, you will constantly strive to be better.

Perfection

Today, I learned that the best women in Islam, the four most perfect women in Islam, were:
Mariam (AS), Asiya, Fatima, and Khadijah (Rad).
If I have four girls, I want those to be their names.

AlMaghrib is excellent. Alhamdulillah. That is all.

The Lake

The Lake

And so, driven on ceaselessly toward
New shores, carried beyond return into eternal
Darkness, shall we never cast anchor for a
Single day in the ocean of time?

Oh lake! the year has scarcely run its course,
And by the cherished waves that she was meant
To see again, see now! I come alone to sit upon
This stone where you saw her sit!

One evening, do you remember? We
Were sailing in silence, listening over the waters
And beneath the heavens only the distant rhythmic
Beat of oarsmen on your harmonious waves.

Suddenly, a voice, its strains unknown on
Earth, struck echoes from the enchanted shore;
The waters listened, and the voice which is
Precious to me spoke these words:

“Oh time, suspend your flight! and you, fortunate hours,
Stay your journey!
Let us savour the fleeting delights of the finest of our days.

Let us love, then, let us love! Be quick to
Enjoy the fleeting hour!
Mankind has no harbour, time has no shore;
It flows, and we pass on!”

Oh lake! wordless rocks! Caves! Dark
Forest! You who are untouched or made young
Again by time, cherish, fair nature, cherish
At least the memory of that night.

Let the moaning wind, the sighing reed,
The gentle scents of your fragrant air, let all that
Is heard, seen or breathed, let all say:
“They were in love!”

—

-Lamartine
translation from French

Solitary Un-Confinement

I am at perfect ease at the moment, relative to the hopeless situation in which I have found myself. I’m surrounded by books, some filing cabinets, and not to mention a few other desks such as this one. Even with others around me, I feel a satisfied sense of seclusion. I’m not so alone, where I will fall either fall asleep while trying to study, and/or watch random episodes of Friends on my laptop with my headphones plugged in. But I am alone enough in the sense that I’ll get [the majority of] my work done without the distraction of lingering on a familiar face in the library or gazing off into the imitation-sky ceiling of the Quiet Room. There is one simple problem, though, even in this glorious spot located next to the Restricted section of books, I find myself stumbling across wordpress, facebook, or even just reading someone else’s blogs. Because, when someone walks by, it doesn’t look like I’m procrastinating. Instead, it appears as if I’m writing a paper in a different format. Perhaps?

I wanted to mention that I did something today that I never imagined I would have the courage to do. Well actually, I often imagined it, but I never really thought it would happen. It didn’t actually happen the way I expected it to, just like everything else in my life, but at least it happened. I swear, after I entered college, my previously [almost] non-existent level of shyness suddenly plagued itself into my life. Not necessarily plagued, but it does seem to play a large role in my life nowadays. It’s not so much shyness, but more of a barrier, I suppose. I don’t speak unless spoken to in a class, for example. And I’m really bad at introducing myself and meeting new people. Weird, huh?
Well, I must get back to my unfortunate list of things to memorize for my two exams tomorrow. I will say this, though: Today, I am thankful for my Chemistry professor for letting me take the exam on Monday. Honestly, I think I’m going to make her cookies, to show an ounce of how grateful I really am.

La génie d’Hugo

titled “ma destinée”
i love this; an autobiographical painting.

If I was a flower growing wild and free

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I’d want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and green
All I’d want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I’d be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, let the cold winds blow

If you were a wink, I’d be a nod
If you were a seed, well I’d be a pod.
If you were the floor, I’d wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I’d be a hug

If you were the wood, I’d be the fire.
If you were the love, I’d be the desire.
If you were a castle, I’d be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I’d learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

-barry louis polisar

Charlie bit me !

i really hope you enjoy it as much as i do.